


a seemingly obvious statement

by flamingstuffs



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: ? - Freeform, Blood, Character Study, Hurt, Kinda, Other, Spoilers, Spoilers for Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, The Stolen Century, Violence, its not hurt/comfort as much as it is just, mostly just rampant taako murder because apparently i have a thing for that, taako gettin killed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-16 02:40:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14802809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flamingstuffs/pseuds/flamingstuffs
Summary: taako hates dying





	a seemingly obvious statement

**Author's Note:**

> this is an exploration of my apparent fetish for murdering my favorite characters in fun, creative and miserable ways, over and over and over. thank you griffin for this tool of cycles and non-permanent death

taako hates dying. he knows this because he has done it over and over again, and he hates when lup dies, or barry, or magnus, or any of them. he hates what they do when he dies. he knows lup falls apart, because they need each other, and when lup is upset barry is upset. but then again, thats liches for you. dramatic. magnus is just kind of a bleeding heart, and so cries anytime anything dies. one time, taako killed a weird pink bee that was about to sting magnus, , and probably like, kill him, and magnus cried. it was simultaneously endearing and annoying. lucretia cries too, but in a more secretive way. in these later cycles, shes starting to learn she can let them see. when merle mourns a member of the crew, its usually quiet and gruff, a sort of shutdown in his demeanor. capn’port usually responds to a death in his crew with a renewed determination and a crease in his brow.

=========

taako hates dying, and the thought comes up because he’s about to do just that. the natives in this cycle seem to have a marked reverence for taako, which in probably anywhere but the land of human (elven) sacrifice, would be great. as is, taako is bound tightly to a smooth stone altar, arms and legs splayed. he tests the rough ropes around his ankles, wrists, neck, and waist, but finds no relief. he knows noone can come for him. the hunger is so close now that everyone who can be must be on the starblaster. he bites on the wooden gag holding his mouth open slightly, which very rudely does not budge. they’ve drawn some kind of sigil in paint on his bare thigh. it was very cold and weird and tingly and now taako can feel his magic coursing through his veins, building but finding no escape. the sigil has sealed it inside of him. he chuckles grimly in the back of his mind, wondering if they intend to bleed the magic out of him. he’s stripped naked, but he doesnt care about that. he cares that hes alone in the room, so quiet that every ragged breath he takes echoes around the vaulted stone ceiling. he cares that the lights are so bright in this room he cant help but blink rapidly, or close his eyes. he cares that his limbs are numb from being in an awkward position for so long, and that his head hurts like a motherfucker. he lays there, body chilled from the cold stone, for what feels like eternity. eventually he hears the sound of drums, beating deep and rythmically, coming slowly closer. there is never a sound of a door opening, but rather, as the beat of the drums approaches and slowly, agonizingly slowly, surrounds taako and reaches a creshendo, it suddenly stops and there is a figure looming over him. taako starts, pulling at the rough ropes holding him down with a renewed vigor, making harsh (and hopefully intimidating) guttural sounds through his gag. the figure, black against the incredibly bright light behind them, coos gently and places a dab of the same cold tingly paint stuff on taako’s forehead, almost lovingly. taako snarls the best he can and tries to throw his head to the side, but the figure, lightening quick, threads fingers into taako’s long hair and holds him still with unnatural strength. the pain of it makes tears well up in taako’s eyes against his will, and he writhes even harder against his bonds in retalitation. the figure makes a shushing noise and pets taako’s temple, like he’s calming a wild beast, and taako burns from the indignity.  
out of nowhere, another being’s hand grabs one of taako’s long fingers, and streches his hand open. taako waits, wide-eyed, for a thousand terror filled years, before he dives headlong into the pain. he shrieks from behind the gag as the unidentified being smashes the bones of his hand easily. the action is repeated, and afterwards taako is left gasping, trying desperately to keep his tears back and failing miserably. then the creature that is holding him by his hair reaches for a pair of tongs and brings something glowing hotly up to taako’s lips. he screams for as long as he is able, as hot coals are systematically shoved down his throat. agony raidiates through his body, and as his insides burn and melt, he mercifully is allowed to die. 

they appear back on the deck of the starblaster, and taako knows where he is, and he knows he is safe, and even yet he feels like a trapped animal. lup begins to approach him, and he makes a strangled noise and he falls to the deck, hands curled over his head protectively. she calls out to him worriedly, but he only curls up tighter. later, he’s okay, but it takes him the rest of the cycle to be able to eat hot food again. 

==============

taako hates dying. it fucking sucks merlin’s saggy balls or whatever. 

“this fucking sucks merlin’s saggy balls,” he proclaims to his captive audience of zero. he makes an involuntary sound of pain as he forces himself to his feet, clutching the gaping, bloody wound in his stomach. “fucking evil robots and their fucking knife fingers. fuck!” he stumbles over one of the destroyed bodies of one of the aforementioned fucking evil robots, almost passing out from the rush of pain. taako grits his teeth and sets his eyes on the exit. just a few steps and then he will be within earshot of the others - and then he steps on a wrong wire or something, and there is an incredibly loud noise and a lot of heat. 

lup’s head whips around at the sound of the explosion, her eyes widening with realization, and she yells something unintelligible before sprinting towards the remaining column of smoke.  
when she gets there, she cant really see anything through the dark fog, but she keeps looking feverishly, calling his name. the heat is awful, and the smoke hurts her eyes, and she has to find him. she hears a sound, different from the flames surrounding her, off to her left, and she looks down to see him at her feet. taako blends into the ground, covered in soot, and at a second horrified glance, blood. lup drops down to her knees beside him, gently flipping him over onto his back. he hisses, curling in on himself, and she brushed his hair up off of his face. he’s going to die, she knows, from even the first glance at his injuries. she cant even tell if he still has legs. lup cries a little, curling over taako as if she herself were in physical pain, touching their foreheads together. he makes a hoarse sound, trying to comfort her, but then he clenches his teeth against the hurt. he cant move his arms. the pain was hot and sharp at first, but now it goes soft, fuzzy, more of an ache than anything. he whines a bit, and lup cries a tiny bit harder. shit. taako lets go of sensation, and all of his tensed muscles relax. lup stays there, alone for just a few more seconds, before giving his forehead one last gentle kiss and standing, tear tracks cutting through the soot on her face. she wears a hardened expression of determination and the flames around her swirl higher. she advances upon the enemy.

on the starblaster, taako is knocked off his feet by a flying leap hug from lup. she buries her face in his shoulder. “dont you dare ever do that again, dipshit.” she mumbles. he hugs her back just as hard. 

===============

taako hates dying. he’s not really sure thats what is happening here, but he has the sneaking suspicion it’s heading in that shitty direction. 

“hey,” he says the to guard on his left. “are we going to execution land, or what?” when that guard doesn’t respond, he turns the the other. “well? what’s the deal up in here?” the right hand guard also does not answer. fucking awesome-sauce. also, its very dark, because for some reason they felt the need to blindfold him. taako twists his hands in his cuffs, but they are solid as diamond and, apparently, magic-proof. both guards abruptly grab him by his elbows, almost lifting him off the floor, and toss him to the side, into what is presumably a cell. he hits his head on the floor, making him dizzy for just long enough for the door to slide closed with a whooshing sound. “when i get out of here, im gonna fuck you guys right up!” he shrieks. “my sister is gonna come get me, and then your asses will be literally on fire!” the sound echoes around, and there is no response. he hears the guards walk away with even, unnatural footsteps.  
he is very very alone. it is very quiet. he struggles to sit up with his hands fastened behind his back, but eventually he manages it. the blindfold is still on, and he cannot see or hear anything. it occurs to him that the ground doesnt seem to have any discernible temperature. it’s solid, but he cant place the texture either. he swears, loudly, and it echoes around the dead air in the cell. he tries to feel around the room, and finds fuck-all. nothing happens for approximately forever. his head hurts, and he’s still really dizzy. taako wants so badly to fall asleep. “concussions and sleeping are a nogo, my man,” he mutters to himself. he sighs with the demeanor of a man settling in to a very long wait in the dentist’s office, and lays down. 

day two, probably  
he wakes up and curses himself for falling asleep. the cell is still empty and blank, he is still blindfolded and cuffed, and his head hurts. on top of the rest of the pile of shit, he’s starting to feel hungry. taako waits the whole day, and he aches all over. nothing happens. 

day three  
same as day two.

day four  
the hunger has started to become more painful than his head. he’s so fucking thirsty. he shakes involuntarily as he yells at the walls. 

day five  
shit has gone even majorly downhill. a guard comes in and gives him a cup of water, which he inhales, but then the guard leaves, and oh yeah, also kicks him in the ribs so hard taako hears them crack. he lays on the ground in absolute agony, taking in one horrible breath after another for what feels like eternity. 

taako loses track of the days after that. it becomes a blur of all-consuming hunger and thirst, occasionally broken by a guard bestowing that blessed elixir on him. he realises the substance must be more than water, because it keeps him alive far longer than he should be able to live without food. taako still feels every bit of the pain as his stomach starts to eat him from the inside. he doesnt fucking blame it. the way his ribs hurt calmed down, but its so hard to breathe that he feels constantly light-headed. his bones feel brittle. he doesnt do anything but lay on the floor and drift in and out of conciousness. sometimes he thinks he hears lup telling him about some dumb shit she and magnus got up to, or barry talking about a stupid equation for-fucking-ever, or lucretica debating with davenport over his head, or merle yelling who-knows-what in his sleep. but everytime he takes in enough breath to answer or mock, the voices go away and he’s alone. he dies like that, when the meagre water or whatever proves to not be enough, and his lungs make it too hard to breathe and he just stops. he just drifts down into the darker fog and pop. starblaster. 

to taako’s suprise, the first person to tearfully embrace him is lucretica. she doesnt look him in the eye, and pulls away with a quickly muttered apology before lighting the fuck out of there. he is startled for a second before everyone piles on with the hugs and he pretends to hate it. 

“hey, hey, hands off the merchandise!” he protests. “also, uh, what’s up with that whole lucretica thing, homies?” 

magnus, from over taako’s shoulder, says quietly, “she gave you a faulty map.”

taako goes limp in all the arms, “well, shit. let me out so i can put operation ‘its not your fault dont even worry about it’ into action.” 

the crew complies, but not after cheek  
smooches from lup and magnus, and bro  
hugs with everyone else. taako salutes them as he jogs off to find lucretica. 

===============

**Author's Note:**

> this is weirdly written, but i was exploring a new format. let me know if its hard to read. I think it flows better as a stream-of consciousness without capitalization. also i was trying to write as little dialogue as possible, let me know if taako and lup sound vaugely canon-compliant. there may or may not be a follow up. i have more plans but we all know how plans go


End file.
